Whatever happens…….

I wrote this letter to my children, and was wondering whether to share it on my blog. I decided I would. 

Dear Valentina and Sebastian,

Whatever happens to me, know that I love you very much. Our life has changed so much in the last few months, as my legs listen less to what I ask them to do.

I appreciate so much how you are and what you do. I love your laughs, your shouts, your smiles, your singing, your whistling. I love it that you help in the house and understand a family needs everyone to contribute. I love your work and play at school. Your school reports show  much enthusiasm you have for everything you do at school. I love watching the energy and joy you have with unicycling, golf, violin, climbing, juggling, hitting any type of ball and for life in general. I love how you happily play with other children. I love watching you run onto the beach and swim in the sea. I love your invention. Of course there are tough times, but know you are a joy to me.

I understand that you can get angry that your daddy cannot do the things I did before. I understand that you do not want to move house, which is caused by me. I know that our life is not like we thought it would be. I know I get angry quickly, and this has nothing to do with you.

I am often devastated by what has happened, but I say ‘I can’. I have faith that things will work out. We have God and so much family and friends with us. We are blessed.

Whatever happens, know that I love you. I treasure every day I spend with you.

I pray for a miracle, and I do everything to heal myself.

With love,

Daddy

Andrew Knowlman

I am a 50-year old father of two children, married to Jane. I live in Hertfordshire, UK. I was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis in April 2015.

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