The Bench

Hello everyone,

It’s September 13th, 8pm. I feel that this will be my last post. I have nothing left.

This will appear automatically on September 27th, whether I am alive or not. When you feel like your life is over, the small and even big things are irrelevant. In the end, it’s about loving your fellow people and my Creator.

I never thought I’d get married, and have a family.

Jane, I love you so much, I am so grateful. You still have the same beauty.
Valentina, our special girl, I love you so much.
Sebastian, our special boy, I love you so much.

Mum and dad, how cruel this is, I love you so much.

Friends and family, it was great. I love you all.
Carers and nurses, you kept me going, I love you.

I’d include a photo of Valentina, looking fantastic in her school uniform, but we don’t, brilliant French speaker.

A little story. Once upon a time, two boys started big school at the same time. It was Tuesday lunchtime in the second week. One of the boys, with glasses and quite small, was sitting alone on a bench, eating his packed lunch. The other boy, also alone and with his own packed lunch, saw the boy, and asked him if they could eat their lunch together. “He was a nice boy, mummy, he looked lonely, so I asked him, he lives on a farm”. This is Sebastian.

Come and sit on my bench on Lastingham Moor. I’ll be there.

With love,


Author: Andrew Knowlman

I am a 50-year old father of two children, married to Jane. I live in Hertfordshire, UK. I was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis in April 2015.

8 thoughts on “The Bench”

  1. Thank you again Andrew, for sharing your thoughts, your struggles, your self, and for reminding us all of what’s important. It has been an honour and a pleasure. Thanks also to Jane, Valentina, and Sebastian for all the love you have shared over the years. Good luck, and may God hold you gently.

  2. Thank you for all your blogs and bringing such wonderful children into the world with your lovely wife Jane. Love to you all. xxxx

  3. My words ran out Andrew,yours havent . Your clear thoughts about how you have approached these previous years are not only thought provoking but inspirational. It dosent seem that long ago that we were presenting you with cake as you had just arrived in Birmingham at Aston for your University years.The seat at Lastingham will be regularly visited by the Hepworths.

  4. Rest in peace now Andrew, we will never forget you, and the fight you put up against this disease. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your loved ones.

  5. Andy we have just seen this recent post and realised you have slipped away.
    Your mental strength, detemination and resilience whilst living with this cruel disease has been outstanding.

    Jane and the children have given you a reason to soldier on and what incredible people they are too.

    Rest in peace Andy.

    Lots of love

    Alwyn and Susan xx

  6. Dear Andrew. I feel so sad to hear that you have gone but there will be no more pain. I feel so honoured to have known you. You are such an amazing man. So talented and full of love for your family. Keep writing those blogs- must be wifi up there!
    Bless you Jane, Valentina and Sebastian. xxx Julie Halstead

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