Fifty days without precipitation and with temperatures exceeding 25 degrees have dramatically changed the way of life for southwest Hertfordshire residents. The Chipperfield erg now covers what used to be woods and common.
‘The sandstorms are devastating’, explained former local resident, Steve Rose. ‘Our only possessions now are the bedouin tent and three goats.’ We walk five miles per day to collect water from the Kings Langley oasis, where a few date palms surround the well. My life as a jazz musician is a distant memory’.
The searing heat combined with vicious winds from the Sahara have combined to transform comfortable Hertfordshire into a parched desert. Families with camels, goats and a few raggle taggle children search daily for food and Coca-Cola. The days of complaining about the wait in Spar and whether the coffee was strong enough at Dallings were long gone.
Local artist and forager, Stu McLennan, said, ‘many people used to have a laugh, because of my long hair, beard and woolly hats, but now they’re queuing up for my knowledge where a few nettles can be found’.
Watford Observer Chief Meteorologist, Tracey Smith commented, from atop the Chipperfield erg, that people can forget about McDonald’s and Halford’s on a Sunday afternoon. They need to get used to being bedouin.
Local renewable energy fanatic Annie Heaton commented, “It’s a shame so many Nimbies got in the way of a quick transition to wind energy back in the noughties. Just think, if we’d put more wind turbines in we’d have more wind to cool us down in this heatwave”.